Ask the Right Questions First

OK. You have joined a couple of dating services and written a killer profile. You’ve uploaded a good picture and now you are going to chat with a contact. What now? How do you start separating those who have real potential and those who don’t have any potential at all? You need to find out something about who this strange woman really is and not just who she wants you to believe she is. It would be nice if women wore labels like “Gold Digger” or “Daddy’s girl”…but they don’t so it’s up to you to find these things out and you can’t just ask direct questions. You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this lady if you decide you want to do that.

After you are past the initial small talk, ask her, “What are the biggest mistakes guys make when dating online?” Listen carefully to her answers. She’s going to tell you a lot about herself and her views on men in general.

Next you should ask her, “What do you really think about online dating?” Now she will tell you if she has had any bad experiences dating o line and help you to avoid making the same things wrong.

Now for the all-important one…..”What caused the break up in your last relationship?” If she puts all the blame on the guy, you should probably move on to the next prospect. If she takes all the blame herself, you should probably do the same. If she says the breakup was by mutual consent or that the relationship just wasn’t right for either of them, you’ve heard the right answer. Move forward but always with caution.

Asking the right questions will give you insight and make you more confident when you meet the lady for the first time.

The Age-Old Question Of When To Call

Sometimes a first date goes so well that you know there and then that you want to have a second date. The date is duly arranged for a week or so in the future, and one of you – we’ll say for the sake of this example that it is you – promises to call the other at some point in between the dates. This could be to firm up details, to chat with one another or for any number of other reasons. The age in which we live dictates that we must leave a certain amount of time before calling. But how soon is too soon, and how long is too long?

It is received wisdom that anything less than 24 hours comes across as being “too keen”. If the previous date went spectacularly well, however, this rule can be waived in most cases. It simply makes sense to take advantage of the positive impression you will have of one another in the wake of a successful date. Otherwise, it is permissible to have a single day in between – if your date was on the Thursday, you can mandate Friday for a night of DVDs with a friend, then call on the Saturday. Leaving it any longer may be seen as stringing someone along – which should be avoided.

The above rules are, of course, not binding, and you can make your own decisions depending on the situation. However, it should always be remembered that after the first date, “playing hard to get” becomes less endearing and more like a method of torture.